


Raiders of the Lost Rooms

by Sniperdoodle



Series: Meteor Shenanigans [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Action/Adventure, Gen, Meteor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-26
Packaged: 2018-01-11 19:15:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1176863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sniperdoodle/pseuds/Sniperdoodle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave and Terezi need a place to store their fort-making material and the only place they can think of is Karkat’s room. On the insistence of the shouty troll, Dave and Terezi search the Meteor for a better place to store their material. And of course, they drag Karkat along with them. </p><p>	But no one really knows what lies in the dark hallways and rooms in their current home. There could be secrets, treasures, monsters, and maybe even a pool. Well, they just have to find out. Because for right now, getting lost is more fun than sitting around doing nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Adventure Begins

            “WHAT THE ACTUAL FLYING FUCK WHERE TWO FUCKWHIFFING LOONEYBLOCK NOOKSUCKS THINKING BEFORE YOU STUFFED MY ROOM FULL OF PILLOWS, CHAIRS AND BLANKETS! AS IF I DON’T ALREADY HAVE TO DEAL WITH ALL OF YOUR ASSFUCKING PUTRID DOUCHEWRIGGLER NONSENSE BUT THEN YOU GO AHEAD AND CLAIM MY ROOM AS YOUR OWN PERSONAL COMFORT STORAGE! NOW FOR THE LOVE OF A TENTSQUATTING ASS CLOWN WOULD YOU TELL ME WHY YOU PERFORMED THIS PRETENTIOUS HOLY DOUCHECRUMPET ACT!?”

            Karkat’s yelling echoed off the walls of Can Town as he stormed into the room and a fiery rage. Dave, Terezi and the Mayor were currently drawing in a new quadrant of Can town and possibly couldn’t care less about what Karkat was talking about. They actually couldn’t hear him. Dave was showing Terezi and the Mayor a new track he came up with so he stuffed their ear lobes with earbuds and turned it up to an eleven so they could get the whole Strider experience. 

            “WHAT’S NUBBY YELLING ABOUT?” Terezi shouted to Dave who could barely hear anything over Dave’s amazing music. Dave shrugged in reply.

            Karkat knew what was going on so he came over to the trio and ripped the ear buds from their ears to get their attention. (Wait, does the Mayor even have any ears?)

            “Not cool dude,” Dave said as Karkat took the earbuds out of Dave’s ears with great force.

            “YOU KNOW WHAT’S NOT COOL STRIDER?” Karkat began not calming down just yet. “WHAT’S NOT COOL IS THAT A SHITDICKING FUCKBAGGING FUCKSTENCH LIKE YOURSELF PAIRED WITH YOUR PARTNER IN CRIME OVER HERE FILLING MY ROOM WITH YOUR DOUCHEFUCKING GRUBFISTED DUMBSHIT COMFORT OBJECTS!”

            “Oh, you mean the fort materials,” Terezi realized what Karkat was talking about.

            “NO,” Karkat yelled back. “I AM TALKING ABOUT THE PILLOWS, CHAIRS, AND SHEETS YOU FILLED MY ROOM WITH!”

            “Those are the fort material Vantas,” Dave replied. “Terezi, the Mayor and I were going to build a really cool fort in the common room so we alchemized all the pillows, chairs and sheets.”

            “THEN WHY AREN’T YOUR INSUFFERABLE VILE PUSTULEFUCKS OF FORT MATERIAL IN THE COMMON ROOM RATHER THAN MY ROOM?” Karkat yelled.

            “Because,” Terezi began to explain. “We were going to go on a break to play in Can Town but Kanaya wouldn’t let us keep all of our material in the common room because it made a mess. So Dave and I decided that we should keep them in your room.”

            “WHY?” Karkat demanded still in a seething rage.

            

**FLASHBACK**

 

TG: kanaya wants us to move our fort materials out of the common room

TG: where should we put them

GC: K4RK4T’S ROOM

TG: perfect

 

**FLASHBACK OVER**

 

            “It’s the only logical decision,” Dave started to spurt bullshit. “We don’t want them to clutter my room, or Terezi’s room. Rose and Kanaya would kill us if we put them in their rooms and the Mayor isn’t comfortable being left alone with all the chairs and pillows.”

            “COULDN’T YOU HAVE PUT THEM IN A DIFFERENT ROOM RATHER THAN MY ROOM?” Karkat demanded.

            “No,” Terezi. “No one wants to step into anyone’s old room. Also all of the other rooms are all dusty and filled with boxes and skeletons. Remember?”

            “Whoa, no one told me that there were rooms filled with skeletons,” Dave halted the conversation. “When did this happen? Where was I?”

            “This was when we first arrived on the Meteor,” Karkat became clam and began to tell the story. “I sent search parties to explore the top layer of the Meteor, the one we’re on right now in this quadrant. They didn’t find much but Kanaya found a path down further. No one went any further because we didn’t want to get lost.”

            “So there’s unexplored sections of the Meteor?” Dave asked.

            “Yes,” Terezi replied.

            Dave was silent before asking, “Who wants to come with me to explore the other parts of the Meteor?” 

            “Oh yeah!” Terezi was quick to agree. "I do!"

            “No,” Karkat growled. “As the leader I command that you don’t go on this thinkpanless fucksquatting shitpuppet mission because you are going to get lost and you are then going to die, and we need everyone we can to stop LE.”

            “We’ll just do it like they did it in the Labyrinth,” Dave replied. “So we don’t get lost.”

            “What do you mean by that?” Karkat asked.

            “We get a shit ton of string and unroll it as we go along we unroll the string. When we’re done, we just follow the string back and we’re not lost,” Dave explained. “And anyway, we can just text Rose or Kanaya if we get lost.”

            “We? What do you mean by we?” Karkat asked.

            “By we I mean you, Terezi, and I,” Dave explained.

            “Oh no, there is no way that I am getting involved in your horseshitting globefondling idiotic quest!” Karkat began to back out of the room before he was dragged in any further, but Terezi placed her steel-like grip around Karkat’s wrist.

            “But Karkles, the only way we are going to get the fort building material out of your room is if we find a room more suitable for fort building,” Terezi explained looping an arm around Karkat’s shoulder.

            “And the only way we’re going to find a new room for building our fort is if we explore the Meteor,” Dave added on leaning on Karkat’s shoulder.

            “Fine!” Karkat agreed knowing that Terezi and Dave would not stop annoying him until he agreed. “But don’t blame me when we’re all starving to death in the middle of nowhere!”

            “Cool,” Dave smiled. “We all need to pack food, tents, water, entertainment, weapons, food, camping material probably, exploring material, string, and anything else. Got it? We meet here tomorrow after a good night’s sleep.”

            “Well where the fuck am I supposed to sleep?” Karkat demanded. “And what about Rose and Kanaya? Won’t they get suspicious if the three of us just magically disappear?”

            “I’m pretty sure Rose and Kanaya are too busy being attached to each other lips to give a fuck about what everyone else is doing,” Dave explained.

            “And you can just sleep on the couch in the common room Karkat,” Terezi reminded Karkat of the alternative sleeping location.

            “Alright,” Karkat sighed. “Tomorrow, we see what else is in the Meteor.”


	2. Hi ho! The Exploration Team takes off!

            The next day, Karkat arrived in Can Town to see that Dave and Terezi had gotten there before him. They were busy drawing on the floor with chalk as usually, but this drawing seemed to have some sense to it.

            “What are you two drawing?” Karkat asked placing his heavy backpack filled with everything he thought that they would need on this trip but wouldn’t fit in his Sylladex on the ground with a thud. Dave and Terezi also had equally large bags (so for once they were actually thinking ahead) but Dave also had three red duffel bags along with his oversize backpack rack. 

            “A plan,” Dave replied.

            “The circle is the Meteor,” Terezi explained. “And it had four layers and four quadrants. We’ve only explored the first layer of the first quadrant, outlined with the red. We’re hopping to explore the first level of the second quadrant, outlined with green. We should know that we’re in the second quadrant when we see-or taste-signs with a green two as Kanaya once told us when she discovered her tunnel to the breeding cavern. Once we stop seeing signs with a red one, we will know that we’re in the second quadrant.”

            “Wow, you two actually made sense,” Karkat said surprised.

            “Yeah, and I alchemized a compass so in addition to my shit ton of string I can mark off where certain rooms are,” Dave replied. “And I tested the compass out. It works in space.”

            “And also I’m going to be drawing on the walls with chalk so we have a third way of figuring out where we’ve been,” Terezi added. “So we can at least rely on one method to get us home.”

            “I’m really surprised,” Karkat stated standing up. “This may be a douchey nookscratching shitting fuck on a mountain of incredible stupidity but you’re at least trying to not get us killed and lost.”

            “I’ve already taken a picture of the map,” Dave explained. “And I have tents for everyone, an extra sleeping bag, fire wood, flint and steel, extra food, extra water, rope, pick axe, hatchet, flashlights, batteries, and anything else. I hope that both of you have enough food and water for yourselves along with a flashlight, mobile device and sleeping bag?”

            “Yep,” Terezi and Karkat both agreed at the same time.

            “We’re only going to explore for seven days, so fourteen total,” Dave explained. “I’ll be the clock because my body still runs on earth time. Is there any last minute worries or complaints?”

            “Yeah,” Karkat asked. “Where are we supposed to go to the ablution trap if we’re headed into unknown territory?” 

            “We go lumberjack style,” Dave announced. “Any other questions?”

            “What’s lumberjack style?” Terezi then asked.

            “We don’t use a toilet,” Dave answered. “But it shouldn’t be a problem considering all of physical make-ups. Now anymore questions?”

            Terezi and Karkat both raised their hands trying to get at what Dave was trying to suggest but he dismissed them not developing further into the mysteries he was hiding from them, “None, okay, good! Everyone pull out your flashlight and let’s go!”

            Dave led the team of three out of Can Town after a tearful parting with the Mayor. The traveled north for about an hour with Dave unrolling his large ball of string and Terezi drawing on the walls with chalk so they could find their way back. As they walked, the dark hallways were illuminated with the beams of light traveling out from their flashlights. They searched for the signs that told them what quadrant they were in, but all they had seen so far were signs with red ones. At the one hour point they finally found their first green two. 

            “Man, an hour of nothing and we finally got to the good part,” Dave said as the three of them stared at the sign with the green two. 

            “We could have looked at any of the rooms on the way here you nookhumping primitive sniffnode,” Karkat reminded Dave. He was pretty pissed off because for the first five hours, along with the task of unrolling the string, Dave had been rapping to his heart’s content. 

            “Anyway,” Dave ignored that comment. “Karkat, take a picture of me and Terezi up against the two.”

            “Why?” Karkat questioned as Dave shoved his phone into the troll’s hands. Dave and Terezi got stationed up against the two ready to take a picture.

            “For the memories Karkles,” Terezi informed Karkat.

            “Yeah bro,” Dave agreed with Terezi. “It’s for the memories.”

            Karkat grumbled protest but he took a picture of them anyway. He handed the phone back to Dave and they continued on looking for the first door. The hallway was strangely empty and silent, with only the sounds of Dave sputtering from his lips in a human method of beat called beat-boxing, the sounds of the chalk being dragged across the walls, the sound of the string unrolling, and the echoing of footsteps. There was no talking because it had felt as though they had crossed the point of no return.

            “Look, a door!” Terezi pointed out. Karkat wasn’t sure how she knew, but sure enough, up ahead was a closed door. 

            “Awesome,” Dave stated as they all pulled a stop in front of the door. “Let’s leave the stuff out here and see what’s in this door.”

            They dropped their backpacks but kept their flashlights in hand. Dave tried opening the door then violently jiggling the doorknob before he came to the conclusion, “It’s locked.”

            “What made you say that?” Karkat asked sarcastically. 

            “Back up,” Dave announced. “I’m going to bust this door down.”

            Terezi and Karkat complied to the command as Dave took a few steps back before running up to the door and knocking it down his a strong kick. The door busted open and its rusty hinges squeaked as though it hadn’t been opened in years. The three of them gathered around the door peering into the dark room wondering what could be inside. 

            “After you,” Dave announced staring at Karkat.

            “You can go ahead Strider,” Karkat told Dave. “This was your magical fuckbag shitsmoking idea in the first place.”

            “Terezi?” Dave turned to Terezi.

            “You really shouldn’t make the blind girl go in first,” Terezi insisted. 

            “But it’s ladies first,” Dave informed her.

            “Then that’s why Karkat should go in first,” Terezi cackled. 

            Dave and Terezi looked at Karkat with a wicked look on both of their faces before Dave announced, “Well Karkat, it’s two to one. You go in first.”

            “Fine,” Karkat sighed knowing that he wouldn’t win this battle. He charged into the room with his flashlight swinging haphazardly in anger. Karkat was too busy studying the other side of the room to look down to see where he was walking. Before he knew it, he fell into a large body of water. He quickly touched the bottom but there was one problem: he couldn't swim.


	3. The skeleton in the pool

            Land-dwellers don’t know how to swim for one reason mainly: sea-dwellers. They ruled the sea and most of them would kill them on sight. So why should a land-dweller even bother trying to learn how to swim if they might get kill for even entering a room?

            Well this natural fact seemed to bite Karkat in the butt because he found himself presently at the bottom of a body of water. He had no idea how to react to this situation because he had never been in something like this before. Of course, if he did not get breath into his air-sacks he would certainly die. Karkat then flipped the fuck up and started to scream. It didn’t help, which was a surprise to him.

            As he flipped the fuck out because he was running out of breath and that it was really fucking dark so he didn’t know if Dave or Terezi even knew that he fell into the water. As he began to prepare for the worst; Karkat heard a splash as a dark figure dove into the water. Karkat couldn’t see who it was but the figure grabbed Karkat around the waist and swam up.  

            Karkat and figure reached the surface as the lights in the room came on. Karkat gasped for breath as he was dragged to the edge of the body of water, which happened to be a tiled edge which was extremely hard to get up. The person who saved Karkat actually threw him out of the pool and climbed up after him.

            “You okay dude?” Dave asked, his hair wet, and his body bare of a shirt and shades. Dave was leaning over Karkat, his wet blond hair dripping on Karkat’s face. Karkat wasn’t sure what he was more shocked by: he almost died, Dave saved him, Dave was really close to his face, Dave had red eyes and freckles, or that Dave was shirtless and ripped. “I don’t have to do mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, do I?”

            “I found the lights!” Terezi announced running over to the two boys. “Wait, is Karkat dead?”

            “I think he’s shocked,” Dave replied. “Or he’s dead. Or we have to do mouth-to-mouth.”

            “Mouth-to-mouth?” Terezi asked.

            “I basically have to put my lips to his lips and blow,” Dave explained. “And I should probably do it soon. Kitkat’s not responding.”

            Karkat was suddenly shocked back to life when Dave mentioned (basically) kissing him. He pushed Dave off his chest back into the water. Karkat quickly launched himself up and began to yell.

            “NO I DO NOT FUCKING NEED MOUTH-TO-MOUTH RESUSCITATION! YOU ARE A FECULENT INSUFFERABLE BUCKET OF FESTERING DISCHARGE FOR EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT! AND WHY ARE YOU SHIRTLESS! NEVER MIND! I DON’T CARE! I JUST KNOW THAT YOU ARE A HORSESHITTING UGLY FUCKSTAIN AND A PIMPLESQUEEZING SPONGEDEAD SCUMBAG!” Karkat yelled at the top of his lungs to the sputtering Dave Strider who slowly came back out of the water.

            “Such thanks for saving your life,” Dave replied sarcastically. He climbed out of the pool and decided not to continue the argument any further. Instead, he turned around and got a better look at the room. “Well, will you look at that. We got ourselves a pool.” 

            Karkat then began to notice his surrounding. There were three separate pools of water, one large body of water with lines in the bottom, a circular pool that looked deep and had two boards both at different heights dangling over it, and a small shallow pool. Most of the floor was tile but around the room there were plots of dirt with plants growing up the walls out of control after years of not being tended to. There were multiple open exists to hallways pardon from the door Dave broke to get in. The ceiling of the pool was made of glass so they could see the world pass by as the sped along on their way to the new session. The sounds of filters humming filled the air along with the water lapping at the edges of the pool. Small white plastic tables and chairs covered with dust circled the room in between the pool and the plants. It seemed like a normal rich person’s pool apart from the giant skeleton in the largest pool.

            “Whoa,” Dave exclaimed getting down on his hands and knees and leaned over the pool to try and get a better look of the large skeleton resting on the bottom of the pool. The skeleton looked like it belonged to a large fish creature with very large teeth. Karkat tried to imagine a lusus that would fit the shape of the body of the skeleton, but there was none.

            “I bet you could swim through its ribs,” Dave exclaimed.

            “What?” Terezi asked.

            “There’s a large skeleton of a giant deadly fish in the pool,” Karkat replied. “But how the fuck did it get there!?”

            “Well, it must have been the pet of whoever was here before us,” Dave said.

            “Or their lusus,” Terezi reminded.

            “But it’s not like any lusus like I’ve ever seen,” Karkat replied.

            “We’ll have to come back after we’re done exploring,” Dave stated standing up. “Though might be stuff in the locker rooms. Maybe a bathroom or something like that.” 

            “Lead the way coolkid,” Terezi told Dave. 

            Dave went through one of the open doorways into a completely tiled corridor filled with bathroom stalls, showers, and sinks. There were also square blue lockers in one corner along with a skeleton.

            “Another skeleton!” Karkat was about to flip out. The skeleton didn’t look like a troll and didn’t look like a human. Its face was more pointed and it only had four fingers on each hand. “And another mystery!” 

            “Here,” Dave pulled a notebook out of his Sylladex and leaned up against the wall. He began to write in it and narrated his scribbling, “Pool, lap pool, diving pool, hot tub, filters working and clear water but tables are dusty, plants growing out of control, giant fish skeleton in lap pool, strange pointed-face four-fingered skeleton in men’s locker room.”

            Dave put the notebook away and looked up, “We want to keep track of these things. So then we can study it later.”

            “You’re right,” Karkat agreed. “But let’s move on. Pointy over here is starting to freak me out.”

            “To the next room!” Terezi announced.


	4. Breaking down doors

            It only took a couple steps through the dark hallway before coming upon another door. Dave insisted that they put their stuff down and go inside to check it out though they just stopped a few moments ago. 

            “Now let’s see what’s inside door number two,” Dave announced dropping all his things on the ground.

            “You’re going in first you thinkpanless fucksquatting shitpuppet,” Karkat growled. “Last time I almost died.”

            “I know, that was a few moment ago,” Terezi groaned. “And you haven’t stopped reminding us of your ‘near-death’ experience since.”

            “But Terezi and I promise that you won’t died,” Dave informed Karkat. Dave turned back to the doorknob and examined it like it was a priceless work of art. He stood up straight and turned to Terezi, “Terezi, would you do the honor?”

            “I would love to Mr. Strider,” Terezi bowed to Dave. Dave bowed and took a few steps back so Terezi could stand in front of the door. Terezi then pulled out her cane and brought it down upon the doorknob so that it violently flew off in Karkat’s direction. Karkat jumped out of the way and Terezi cackled, “Sorry Karkles. But Dave, I believe that it is your turn to go in first.”

            “Thank-you Ms. Pyrope,” Dave bowed to Terezi and Terezi bowed as she backed away. Dave nudged the door open with his foot and it ominously swung open to a dark room. Dave reached his hand around the door frame and began to feel along the inside of the wall. Once he found what he was looking for, there was a click and the room came to life with small screens along the walls producing colorful displays into the dark corners of the room. 

            “Where is that light coming from?” Karkat asked peering into the room. 

            “Hhm,” Dave thought as Terezi jumped up on him, wrapping her skinny arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Dave was the victim of an unexpected piggyback ride but he didn’t falter and acted like nothing had happened.  “It’s an arcade.”

            Dave stepped into the room with Terezi still on his back. The room was lined with blocky machines and the center of the room was also filled with blocky machines, each of them facing the walkway made of dimly lit square tiles. Each machine had a small screen with colorful pixilated animation and buttons and joysticks to control what was happening on screen. The whole room seemed to buzz with the chorus of multiple electric theme songs echoing from the machines giving the room a feeling as though you were stepping into a virtual world. 

            Karkat slowly followed in after Dave and watched as Dave went up to a certain game. There was another pointy-face skeleton on the machine, but Dave just brushed it aside saying, “Dead man on the Pac-Man.” 

            “So what is this stuff?” Karkat asked as Terezi hopped off of Dave’s back to lick the screen of the game right next to him. 

            “Old arcade games,” Dave replied. “Stuff like Pac-Man, Galaga, Mario, all of the good oldies.”

            “If they’re nookhumping braindead sorry sacks of pink flesh monkey shit then why are they on the Meteor?” Karkat asked.

            “They’re timeless,” Dave insisted. “Here, play Galaga. It’s simple, you’re the space ship at the bottom and you have to shoot all of the guys coming at you. Press the red button really fast and try not to get hit. If you do run out of lives, press the white one.”

            Karkat growled as Dave forced him to set up at a station and started the game for him. Karkat began to play because Dave wouldn’t leave him alone if he didn’t at least try. After multiple times dying and almost destroying the machine, Karkat began to get used to the game. He played violently as Dave played Pac-Man and Terezi played Mario. It wasn’t until Dave stepped back from his game they were brought back to reality.

            “Well, we all just spent an hour playing old arcade games,” Dave announced.

            “Huh?” Karkat asked wondering how much time passed. 

            “But the colors taste so good!” Terezi stated nudging the skeleton beneath her with her foot.

            “Let’s just see what else they have here before moving on,” Dave decided. “I want to see as much as we can before we have to go back.”

            “Alright,” Karkat agreed parting from the Galaga machine. He watched the pixilated animations dance across the screen as he trudged behind Dave and Terezi, tired after playing a game for an hour straight. Dave commented on a four player Avengers game but there was nothing interesting until they came upon another skeleton.

            “Shit, look at that fucker!” Dave exclaimed running up to the giant skeleton of a savage tiger with teeth longer than Karkat’s arm. It seemed to be in a peaceful position but was still menacing.

            “Another skeleton?” Terezi asked.

            “A giant tiger this time though,” Dave stated. “I wonder where they all came from?”

            “Wherever they came from, I don’t want to be there,” Karkat answered. 

            “Well,” Dave was quickly scribbling in a journal. “Let’s get moving. I can check him out when we come back.”

            They left the room, picked up their stuff and continued to travel down the halls, leaving a trail of chalk and string behind them. The group opened doors to rooms filled with dust or pointy-faced skeletons and did not seem to find anything interesting. At the end of the day they all settled down and pitched their tents in a large hallway. 

            Dave started a fire and let Karkat take over the process of cooking, since he was the only one of them that could cook. As they ate dinner in silence with the sounds of a crackling fire Dave asked, “Good day, right guys?”

            “I almost died,” Karkat replied.

            “I’ll have to teach you how to swim,” Dave chuckled. “But think about it. We found a pool, a arcade, two cool skeleton, tons of skeletons belonging to those pointy-faced people. We have a real mystery on our hands. We also have a way to solve our boredom,.”

            “But what are we going to do? Walk all the way out here like some horseshitting globefondling idiot and waste our time?” Karkat asked.

            “No, I alchemize a golf cart,” Dave answered. “It’ll cut the time in half because it can do at least ten miles an hour max.”

            “Sounds like fun,” Terezi thought as she chewed on a bone. “But what’s a golf cart?”

            “A smaller vehicle for transportation that can fit in the hallways,” Dave explained. “And it’s open to you can feel the wind rushing on your face without even sticking your head out the window.”

            “Awesome,” Terezi answered as she dreamed of a golf cart.

            “Well,” Dave put his bowl down. “Goodnight. I’m tired.”

            “Same here,” Terezi agreed. “Night Karkles.”

            “Night,” Karkat grumbled as he cleaned up Dave and Terezi’s mess. 

            “Thanks for coming Karkat,” Dave told Karkat as he entered his tent and zipped up the zipper.

            Karkat silently mumbled a welcome and finished cleaning. Once he was done, he climbed in his own tent leaving the fire to die out. As he climbed into his sleeping bag, Karkat realized that it was actually a pretty good day compared to other days he had and drifted off to sleep.


	5. Karkat Vantas and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls

            They had been traveling for three days. On the third day Karkat woke up actually feeling sad that their adventure was close to drawing to a close. After one more sleep and a half day they would be heading back. Of course, camping out in a hallway wasn’t fun, but they did discover some cool stuff.

            Karkat crawled out of his tent to see that he was the first one up again. The fire was just a pile of ashes and provided no warmth in the cold hallway. Karkat began to get ready to start the fire again as Dave taught him yesterday, but then realized that the notebook Dave had brought to record all they had seen so far was left out. Being nosy, Karkat picked it up to recap on what had happened in the past two days.

 

Day One:

  * Pool: Pool, lap pool, diving pool, hot tub, filters working and clear water but tables are dusty, plants growing out of control, giant fish skeleton in lap pool, strange pointed-face four-fingered skeleton in men’s locker room.
  * Arcade: Galaga, Pac-Man, Mario, four-person Avengers game (MUST PLAY LATER), a couple of pointy-faced skeletons, a giant skeleton of an alien Sabretooth tiger
  * Everywhere else: pointy-faced skeletons and dust



Day Two:

  * Green House: plants, plants, plants, plants indigenous to earth, alternia, and unknown plants, a giant skeleton of a bird with a metal wing, giant bug carcasses, more pointy-faced skeletons, very warm,  sprinkler system, small stream with giant snake skeleton leading to gogs know where
  * Movie Theater: large theatre with stage, more skeletons, large prehistoric-like dog skeleton, earth and alternia movies along with other unknown movies in a different language
  * Gym: looks like a regular high school gym with bleachers, basketball nets, closets filled with sports shit, locker rooms, but has a super cool rock wall karkat was too scared to climb because it was the size of a giclops, more pointy-faced skeletons, but large point-faced skeleton in bleachers twice my height, also: BUTT SCOOTERS
  * Library: filled with dusty books rose and kanaya would like, more skeletons, no interesting skeletons, book about synonyms for barfing (NOTE: yodeling groceries)
  * Everywhere else: dust and pointy-face skeletons



Day Three:

 

            It was easy to say that there was a lot going on in the past day. The skeletons where obviously very creepy and foreboding but there were actually some fun parts to the day. Dave almost set the film projector on fire, Terezi and Dave almost set off a domino reaction with the library bookshelves, and the best part: BUTT SCOOTERS. 

            Karkat set Dave’s book near his tent and away from the fire. Karkat got the fire started and Dave and Terezi emerged from their tents ready to get the day started. After a quick breakfast, they packed up and continued on their journey. Within ten minutes, they found their first door.

            “Today’s door number one brought to you by Geico: fifteen minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance,” Dave stated. 

            “What?” Terezi asked.

            “Earth reference,” Dave explained. “Let’s just bust this baby open.”

            “Hopefully it won’t be another dusty room,” Karkat grumbled.

            “Don’t say anything like that,” Dave began to explain placing a single finger on Karkat’s lips. “You’ll jinx us.” 

            “Just open the door,” Karkat insisted. 

            Dave started the door opening routine: he jiggled the door knob to see if it would budge, and then kick it down because most times it would not open. Dave twisted the door knob and surprisingly, it creaked open.

            “That’s new,” Dave commented looking between Karkat and Terezi. “Let’s just hope that there’s something good behind it.” 

            Dave quickly pushed open the door to reveal a room completely covered with dust.

            “Look at that Karkat,” Terezi said looking at Karkat. “You jinxed us!”

            “There’s usually a skeleton or two,” Dave commented flashing his flashlight around the room. Karkat watched as Dave illuminated the dark corners of the room and told him to stop when his eye caught on something sparkling.

            “There’s something there,” Karkat stated. “In the corner.”

            Dave moved his flashlight back to the corner where Karkat was pointing, “What?”

            “All I can smell is dust,” Terezi stated.

            “There’s something sparkly underneath the dust,” Karkat explained.

            “Oh sparkly,” Dave said and headed straight into the room over to the corner. He was silent for a minute as he brushed the dust off of whatever was underneath the thick coat of dirt. Once he was done, he got back up and came over to the door. “You guys want to see this.”

            Karkat and Terezi followed Dave into the corner where Karkat saw the sparkly object. Underneath the layer of dust, there was a skeleton completely made of sparkling blue and purple smooth crystal. It had all the body parts, but did not look like the pointy-faced aliens, a human, or a troll. It had three fingers on each hand and three toes on each foot. There was an extra set of arms and large fangs the size of Karkat’s middle finger extending down from his mouth so it was a completely new species of alien.

            “Whoa,” Karkat breathed out in wonder.

            “Smells like a mixture of blueberries and grape,” Terezi said taking in the smells of the skull.

            “This is completely awesome,” Dave said. “We have to captchalogue it because Rose and Kanaya won’t believe us otherwise. Does anyone have room?”

            “I do,” Karkat offered up, because it really was a sight to be seen.

            “Well then, pick it up,” Dave explained.

            “Wait,” Terezi stopped the boys. “We should name it. And wonder if it is even a real skeleton.”

            “We can wonder later with Rose and Kanaya around,” Dave sighed. “But you’re right, it does need a name.” 

            “Will Smith,” Karkat offered up.

            “I was thinking more like Bob,” Dave explained.

            “I like Bob,” Terezi agreed, not wanting to name the skeleton Will Smith.

            “Out-Voted again Karkat,” Dave smirked. 

            “Fine, Bob the Crystal Skull,” Karkat announced as he picked up Bob in his Sylladex. As he did so, Dave started to giggle. “What’s so funny you shameful ass-shitting shame globe juggler?”

            “Maybe if we find more of these guys,” Dave giggled. “We can find the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls.” 


	6. No love in or for the elevator

            After picking up Bob, Dave, Terezi and Karkat continued to walk with their string, chalk and flashlights in hand. For about an hour, they traveled through a barren hallway with no doors until they came upon a sliding metal door.

            “What’s a metal door doing here?” Terezi asked licking the cold metal.

            “Let’s find out,” Dave replied rummaging through one of his gym bags.

            “What, are you going to kick the door down?” Karkat questioned.

            “No,” Dave replied pulling a crowbar out. “I’m going to open the door with some force.”

            “Wow,” Karkat watched as Dave walked over to the door with crowbar in hand. “You really were prepared.”

            “I know, right?” Dave replied as he jammed one was of the crowbar into the slit between the two parts of the metal door. He then began to push and after a few seconds of pure Strider blunt force being applied to the doors, one metal door shot back. Dave pushed the other one aside and got down on his hands and knees to look down the long shaft. Karkat and Terezi got down next to him and peered their heads into the shaft as well.

            “It’s an elevator,” Dave stated as he flashed a flashlight around. “See the metal shafts and the cable?”

            “Yeah,” Karkat replied.

            “No,” Terezi replied.

            “It probably goes to the core or the other layers,” Dave commented. “If we could get this thing to work it would be easy to get to the other layers. Actually, it might work. We’d just have to figure out.”

            “There aren’t any buttons though,” Terezi commented. “There actually might not be any elevator.”

            “Well, let’s just first find out how deep this thing is,” Dave stated. He pulled out a rubber ball from his pocket and dropped it down the shaft. When there was a thud of the ball hitting the ground Dave stated, “This shaft is exactly three seconds deeps.”

            “Fucking brilliant,” Karkat sat up and rolled his eyes. He slowly clapped in sarcasm at Dave’s revelation.

            “I counted four,” Terezi argued.

            “Well, if you two weren’t grubshitting seedflaphumping wrigglerfucks then maybe you would realize that we can not measure the distance of a shaft using time measurement!” Karkat yelled having a hard time comprehending their stupidity. “In fa-AHAHAHAHHHHHHHHH!”

            Karkat threw his arms up in the air for emphasis but that threw him off balance. He suddenly found himself flipping over into the shaft down into the darkness. He flailed his arms as the wind rushed through his ears and grabbed onto A METAL LEDGE WITH ONE HAND. He then swung his other hand onto the metal ledge to help him steady himself.

            “Are you okay Karkles!?” Terezi called down the shaft with pure concern and panic in her voice. 

            “JUST GET ME OUT!” Karkat cried back wasting no time with insults. That could happen when he was safely out of the elevator. 

            “On it,” Dave replied. “Just keep hangin’ on, alright buddy?” 

            Karkat rolled his eyes as his friend’s heads disappeared from view as they went to find a way to bring him back up. 

            As Karkat hung there in the darkness, he realized that at any moment he could possibly die if he let go. Karkat clutched the metal siding he grabbed onto tighter as fear wrapped its cold hands around him. Worries flooded his mind as he was left in the darkness with only the incoherent echoing of Dave and Terezi’s mumbling to keep him company. 

            What if Karkat couldn’t hang on? What if he wasn’t strong enough and had to let go? What if he joined one of the many skeletons that they had found? What if Dave and Terezi couldn’t find a way to save him? What if Dave and Terezi leave him here?

            Karkat tried to push his worries out of his mind, but the darkness only seemed to invitee them to stay like unwanted houseguests. The biggest one was the trust that he was placing in his friends. Dave and Terezi weren’t exactly the most trust-worthy friends and they could play him falling and dying in an elevator as a cruel prank turned bad. But Karkat had to put his faith in them. Karkat just had to hope for the best as he hung for his life.

            Karkat knew that this exploration was a bad idea.


	7. Flighty Broads search for idiots

            Rose walked into the common room searching for her brother, but instead found Kanaya. That was a nice surprise, but it was her ironic brother Dave Strider that she was looking for.

            “Kanaya dear,” Rose got the attention of her Matesprit who was sitting on the couch reading. “Have you seen Dave?”

            “No,” Kanaya replied. “But while we are on the subject, have you seen Karkat or Terezi?”

            “No,” Rose answered plopping down on the couch next to Kanaya. “I’ve checked Can Town, their rooms, the bathrooms, the kitchen, ever possible place I could think of. On a side note, Karkat’s room is filled with blankets, pillows and chairs, which is quite strange, even for him. But back on the subject, they don’t seem to be anywhere.”

            “They must be up to something,” Kanaya replied setting her book down and draping her arm around Rose’s shoulders.

            “Exactly what I was thinking,” Rose agreed. “We must conduct a more thorough investigation upon the matter. I was thinking we start with interrogating the Mayor.”

            “Then let us travel to Cant Town,” Kanaya agreed standing upon before holding her hand out to Rose. Rose took it and Kanaya pulled her up off the couch.

            The two classy lesbians headed to Can Town where the Mayor was building a new section of the city. He seemed pretty happy, but the room was barren of Dave or Terezi.

            “Mayor?” Rose called out for the Mayor. He looked up and seemed happy with his company of Kanaya and Rose. He waved to them before turning back to his work.

            “Mayor,” Kanaya grabbed the Mayor’s attention again. “We have some serious business to attend to. If you would be so kind as to pay attention.”

            The Mayor nodded and walked over to a desk in the corner of the room. He hopped up on a stool and motioned for the troll and human to come and sit down in the two stools in front of the desk.

            Kanaya and Rose obliged and sat across from the Mayor at his desk. He had his own name plate with ‘THE MAYOR’ engraved in the golden metal. Next to his name plate he had a firefly encased in amber-mostly likely a gift from Dave-and a rusty piece of metal attached to the ruler displayed proudly. He also had a pile of printer paper to one side and a box of chalk to the other. He looked very professional and motioned with his hand for Rose and Kanaya to start talking.

            “Kanaya and I have noticed the disappearance of Dave, Terezi and Karkat, we were wondering if you know of their whereabouts?” Rose cut to the chased and straight up asked the Mayor where their friends are.

            The Mayor nodded a yes and then got off his stool. He started to walk over to the other side of the room but stopped half-way to motion for Rose and Kanaya to join him. They followed him again over to a drawing of what looked like a bunch of circles divided into sections. The Mayor got down on his knees and pointed to a section outlined in green on the top layer of the circles.

            “What does this mean?” Rose asked not understanding what she was seeing.

            “I believe that drawing the Mayor is showing us is a map of Meteor,” Kanaya answered. She began to point to the different outlined sections with her foot as she narrated Rose through the map, “There are four layers to the Meteor, along with the cavern in the middle. Each layer is divided into four different sections. We’ve mainly stayed in the red section because we don’t know what else is on this Meteor. From what the Mayor is showing us, I can only guess that Dave, Terezi and Karkat have gone off to explore the green section of the Meteor.”

            “Hhm,” Rose thought for a minute. “I’m surprised you managed to derive that from a half-assed scribbling.”

            “Now Mayor,” Kanaya turned back to the Mayor. “Do you know which way they went?”

            The Mayor nodded his head and began to lead the girls out of Can Town. He took them to a hallway with dim lights and a long piece of string stretching out into the darkness. There was also a long line of red chalk drawn on the wall going the same distance as the string. The Mayor pointed in the direction both the string and the chalk line was going.

            “Why is there chalk on the wall and string on the floor?” Kanaya asked. This time, Rose was able to answer.

            “Ariadne’s String,” Rose said quickly deriving the meaning of the string. “Clever David, clever.”

            “Ariadne’s String?” Kanaya asked.

            “In the Greek Myth of Theseus,” Rose began the story. “Theseus had to travel into the Labyrinth to kill the Minotaur, the beast that was half-man and half-bull. The princess Ariadne, a clever girl, helped Theseus in return for marrying her and taking her away from her father’s kingdom. She helped Theseus by tying a ball of string to a pole and telling him to unroll it so when he was done, he could find his way back.”

            “Then what happened?” Kanaya asked.

            “Theseus was successful with his mission,” Rose replied. “He took Ariadne back to his kingdom but during the journey back they stopped at an island. Ariadne got off and fell asleep in the sand. Theseus and his crew forgot about her and she was heart-broken. The god of wine, Dionysus, came down and comforted her before marrying her.”

            “So Theseus was a jerk?” Kanaya questioned.

            “Yes,” Rose replied. “But Dave was quick to pick this trick up before heading off into the unknown. I am glad he did not use the method used in Hansel and Gretel.”

            “And what’s that?” Kanaya asked.

            “Ah, fairy tales are a whole different world Kanaya,” Rose sighed placing a hand on Kanaya’s arm. “It will take ages to explain them. So many tragic ends misinterpreted by Disney to make them kid-friendly.”

            “Sounds like an interesting genera,” Kanaya commented. “But what shall we do about our disappearing friends?”

            “Oh,” Rose pulled out her phone. “I will give Dave a call and see what he is doing. We can spoil their fun when they come back.”

            “I like that idea,” Kanaya agreed. “So what are you going to ask him?”

            “Hhm,” Rose thought as she began to pester Dave.

 

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

 

TT: Hello Dave. I was just wondering where you where since I have not seen you around in the past few days. If you could tell me your current location that would be swell.

TG: sorry rose cant talk now

TG: little timmy fell down an elevator shaft

TG: and i have to go all lassie and save him

TG: bye

TT: Dave, who is Little Timmy?

 

turntechGodhead [TG] is now an idle chum!

 

            “What answers did you get?” Kanaya asked though Rose was silent as she put her phone away.

            After pondering the short conversation for a minute or two, Rose announced, “I fear that Karkat may have fallen down an elevator shaft.”


	8. Little Karkitty fell down the elevator shaft

            It felt like forever until Karkat saw Dave’s and Terezi’s faces again.

            “TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!” Karkat yelled at them, trying not to show them that he was ultimately relived.

            “Missed us?” Dave asked.

            “YES,” Karkat replied because he was actually really happy to see them.

            “Aw, I think that’s the first time Karkat said anything nice,” Terezi informed Dave.

            “THAT’S BECAUSE I’M HANGING FOR MY LIFE!” Karkat replied.

            “Well just wait a couple more seconds little dude, I’m coming down to get you,” Dave said as he started to climb down into the elevator shaft. He had a harness on and Terezi was holding the end of a rope.

            “ARE YOU COMING DOWN TO GET ME?” Karkat asked surprised. “DO YOU WANT TO DIE AS WELL?”

            “Trust me; we got this shit figured out,” Dave said as he bounced off the wall with his feet descending downwards in great leaps.

            “DO YOU WANT TO KILL ME?!” Karkat yelled as he watched Dave do his downwards jump. “DO YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF!?”

            “I’m fine,” Dave insisted as he landed a foot above Karkat’s hands. He then slowly walked down until he was right next to Karkat. “Now, this is going to be awkward.”

            “What?” Karkat asked now that Dave was right next to him.

            “Well, I have this harness for you but you are obviously in no position to put it on yourself,” Dave began to explain.

            “I can see that,” Karkat replied.

            “And parts of his goes under your legs and around your legs,” Dave continued.

            “FUCK NO!” Karkat cried out.

            “And to do this I have to climb on you,” Dave continued. “And then afterwards I’m going to clip you to the front of my harness so we’ll be doing the baby-carrier thing.”

            “Again, FUCK NO!” Karkat repeated.

            “Want me to leave you here?” Dave asked.

            “FUCK NO,” Karkat shouted once again.

            “Okay, so we’re going to have to do the awkward shit,” Dave replied. “In the most platonic way possible.”

            “This would never be qualified as platonic,” Karkat grumbled. “Just get on with it. At least no one is around to see.”

            “BUT I DO KNOW WHAT DAVE IS DOING KARKLES!” Terezi reminded Karkat from above.

            “YOU BETTER NOT TELL ANYONE!” Karkat yelled back.

            “I’LL TELL KANKRI!” Terezi shouted back.

            “FUCK NO!” Karkat replied.

            “Let’s just get on with it,” Dave sighed. “Just remember, we’re doing this as bros on the way to platonic-ville.”

            “Next thing you know my pants will be gone,” Karkat sighed as Dave positioned himself behind Karkat and began to get the harness on.

            “Not helping,” Dave grumbled.

            After a few awkward and so not platonic moments, Karkat was in a harness and hooked to Dave.

            “We’re done with the harness,” Dave sighed.

            “THANK GOG!” Karkat called out.

            “Pull us up Terezi!” Dave called up to Terezi.

            “OKAY COOLKID!” Terezi shouted back, Slowly, Terezi began to pull the rope up and Dave and Karkat both walked up the wall. Finally, they were at the top and made it to safe land. Dave quickly un-strapped Karkat from his harness and they made sure that they were a good distance apart.

            “NEVER AGAIN,” Karkat said.

            “Agreed,” Dave agreed on that statement as he pulled out his phone. “Uh-oh.”

            “Did Rose pester you again?” Terezi asked.

            “Rose pestered you?” Karkat asked.

            “While you were down the shaft,” Dave explained. “She says that once we rescue Karkat from the elevator shaft we should return because Kanaya and her are curious about where we’ve been.”

            “You told her that I was stuck down an elevator shaft?” Karkat questioned.

            “No,” Dave answered. “I told her that Little Timmy was stuck down the elevator shaft.”

            “Either way,” Terezi stated. “We’re in deep dragon shit.”

            Dave sighed and said, “The Mayor must have ratted us out. Let’s pack up and head back.”

            “Just like that?” Karkat asked in surprise that Dave admitting defeat so easily. “Just because Rose and Kanaya want you to come back? You NEVER listen to me.”

            “We’re talking about the girl who can summon Horrorterrors and the vampire with the chainsaw,” Dave informed Karkat. “You’re just short and shouty.”

            Karkat huffed and got off the ground picking his things up, “Then let’s head home.”


	9. Home Sweet Home

            “Welcome back,” Rose greeted the trio returning from their adventure three days after Karkat fell down the elevator shaft. She and Kanaya were sitting in Can Town with the Mayor waiting for their return. “I hope none of you gained any major injuries.”

            “I almost died a couple times but other than that I’m fine,” Karkat replied as he dropped his stuff on the ground.

            “So what were you three up to?” Kanaya asked.

            “It’s quiet a story,” Terezi stated sitting on the ground next to the Mayor.

            “As you’ve heard, Karkat almost died a couple times,” Dave added sitting next to Terezi. “And we found a lot of cool places.”

            “And skeletons,” Karkat finished up sitting on the ground next to Dave.

            They then began to retell their story of their adventures in the Meteor to Kanaya, Rose and the Mayor including in great detail all the rooms they’ve visited, all the skeletons they’ve found, and all of the adventures they’ve had.

            “Sounds like we have quiet the mystery on our hands,” Kanaya said out loud. “The skeletons, the rooms, the earth media mixed with Alternia media and a third unknown media. We will have to look into it.”

            “My curiosity is peaked,” Rose added. “There must be some tombs telling us of this strange species in that library you told us about. The next time you head that way be sure to invite me.”

            “And me as well,” Kanaya finished standing up. “But for now we will have to be settled with our own small library.”

            “Agreed,” Rose agreed standing up with the help of Kanaya. “I believe we are finished here. But, next time you go on a quest David, make sure to tell us first.”

            “No promises,” Dave said as Terezi handed him a piece of chalk.

            Rose glared at Dave before leaving Can Town with Kanaya. Karkat turned to Dave and Terezi, who were joining the Mayor in a shitty drawing session and asked, “What now?”

            “We go back to normal until I can alchemize a golf cart,” Dave replied.

            “Humph,” Karkat grunted and stood up. “See you fuckers later.”

            “Bye Karkles!” Terezi eagerly called back to Karkat.

            Karkat left the room and headed to his own room, ready to collapse on his rectangular human sleeping device. He traveled down the empty hallways silent with only a faint honking echoing in the background. He came upon his door and let out a yawn before opening the door and starting a spew of vile curses.

            He forgot that his room was filled with pillows, blankets, and chairs.

            Fucking. Strider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. All that's left is the epilog. Gog, my first fully completed multi-chapter fanfiction since I was in sixth grade. Everyone, you know how amazing and sad that is?


	10. Epilog

            Karkat sat silently in the common room on the couch reading a human romance book Rose has recommended to him. It in no way, shape, or form was better than Alternia romance novels, but it was well written and slightly enjoyable. He was enjoying the silence until Dave strode into the room wearing a plain white shirt, red human swimming shorts, and strange red human shoe slabs called flip-flops. He still had his shades on but he carried long colorful noodles and colorful towels.

            He stopped directly in front of Karkat and seemed to be staring Karkat straight in the eye underneath his shades.

            “What the fuck do you want you pimplesqueezing ass-shitting holy duchecrumpet?” Karkat asked Dave.

            Dave was silent before asking, “Wanna learn how to swim?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of this story my friends. Goodbye!


End file.
